Episode 88: Church (Niels)

Niels was in a tell-off-the-world mood.

Every bit of it.

He didn’t want to have this conversation, but church was over, the hall was empty and clean, Talise’s head was on his lap as the sun rose higher into the sky, catching the light of the stained glass windows and shining down on them with golds and reds and blues.

Talise smiled up at him. “I have a surprise for you,” she said.

Was it just a week ago, they’d found that orphan? Just a week ago she’d turned eighteen?

“How are you?” he asked. He opened the box she passed him and looked inside.

“Good,” she said. She was so fucking content, it hurt.

He pulled the contents of the tissue paper wrapped around it. It was a miniature guitar with their family all holding it, together. Each kid was pictured, size and hair and eyes and everything, even an A and B written on Talise’s belly.

If she survived, she was going to end up hating this.

It was an ornament, he realized. A Christmas tree ornament. In June, in the wrong realm.

“I know you like that holiday,” she said, a little uncertain. Sometimes it was so easy for him to see that she and Acheron really were twins. Meldrick and his kids never would have been that shy about a present.

Niels laughed a little and ran his hands through her hair. “You know that holiday is still half a year away?” he teased lightly. “I love it.” He leaned down and kissed her while the gorgeous blush flooded her cheeks.

“I wanted to be prepared before I forgot the idea,” she said. “How are you?”

He looked down at the ornament. Their family, depicted here, might never be the same again.

Even if it was intact, they would change from this experience. Niels hated whatever was coming. If Bentley and Shea were even right.

Really, this was just a classic story of choice versus fate. Niels believed in choice.

Most of the Alandrials, maybe all of them, believed in fate. None of them would dream of questioning Bentley’s self-assurance in his luck.

He sighed and looked out at the room. “Zero and I went to talk to Bentley yesterday,” he began.

“And we fail the trial?” she joked, but then she looked up at him and met his eyes. “What’s wrong? He’s lucky. We can fix it.”

He wasn’t fucking ready.

“Well, first, we found out someone did a spell to split your parents up.”

She jerked to a sitting position and stared at him. “Do they know?” she asked.

“I…” Niels shook his head, almost dismissive. “I have no idea. I couldn’t figure out if Zero was going to tell them or not. I told my mom, and she probably told your dad.”

“Okay,” she said. He could feel the excitement and relief as first one, then the other, moved through her body. It made each limb tense and then relax, and finally the cool calm settled into her eyes and her lips fell into a soft line. “So we might not spontaneously be rulers. That’s a relief.”

“Well, he stayed with my mom again last night. So, we’ll see.” He turned the ornament over and studied the handiwork. It was Stetson’s, it had to be. “Did you have this custom-made?”

“No,” she scoffed, sarcastic. “They sell those in the store.” She kissed him then returned her head to his lap and he breathed a little better having her there, the touch and feel of her alive and safe here. “Yes, I had my brother make it.”

“You want to do Christmas this year, then?” he asked.

If, for some godawful reason, she didn’t survive, he’d have to make sure they did Christmas without her, no matter how atrocious it was.

“Yes…is that okay?” she asked.

He kissed her head. “I’m excited,” he said. He bet he could get Nell into the idea, at least. “The kids will love it.”

“You sound excited,” Talise teased, and Niels laughed. He sucked at pretending everything was okay when it wasn’t. Talise added, “So I read that we need a chimney. It goes in the living room?”

He laughed. “Better get building. Something to accommodate the fat man.” If she’d read about chimneys, then she knew about Santa Claus.

She laughed, and then reached up to her head and stilled his hand, holding it in hers. “What’s wrong, Niels.”

He sighed. “We asked Bentley about Camilla, and that turned into just talking about…stuff…” He breathed in deeply. Once he said it, he couldn’t unsay it. But he had to tell her. She deserved to know. She needed the warning, in case she knew ways to protect herself. Choice versus fate.

“Two things,” he told her. Bad or good first?”

“Good,” she said.

That was easy. It was weird and fucked up, but it was easy. “When Zero asked about whether your parents should get back together again or not, he said not. Because…he thinks Drey is coming back.”

“That’s insane,” she argued.

Yeah, it was. Even with wicca magic, it was insane. “I thought so too. Maybe Bentley just isn’t trustworthy or reliable at all. I think his instincts are screwed up. I get that wiccans can bring people back, but Drey doesn’t have a body.”

“His mom died,” Talise added. She sat up again and faced him. “I bet he just needs some time. So whatever the bad thing is…I doubt it happens.”

“Yeah, me too.” He reached for her hair and tucked the Talise-strand behind her ear.

He called it the Talise strand because it never did what she wanted, but it always made her hair look better, more natural, softened her face and brought out beauty she didn’t know she had. Just like Talise did for the world.

“What kind of bricks should we get for the chimney?” he asked her.

“What is it?” she asked, more resolved. “I don’t want to die of stupidity for ignoring something.”

He was out of time.

“He – and Shea – both think you’re about to die. They said you’ll probably be okay but they’re not as sure about the babies.”

“Okay,” she said. Her voice got more tentative as she puzzled through what it could mean. “I’ll back off of training.”

“I don’t think it’s a training thing,” he said. He realized he was scowling. He hated how vague all of this was. Why couldn’t Bentley just say, Hey, Talise, don’t go near any scrogs this week? “They said the kingdom needs this.”

She leapt to the obvious conclusion – “Okay. Maybe I fail my trial.”

“If you fail,” he said, pulling her into a hug against him, “we fail together.” He rubbed his hands all over her back, massaging. “I don’t think you’ll fail. You’re way too ready for this.”

He didn’t think it was the trial anyway. Meldrick was way too happy to step down, and if Drey really was coming back by some miracle then there was no way Aadya would be miserable for long.

“I love you,” Talise said into his shoulder.

“I love you too.” He shifted away so he could see her face again. “We’re not losing you, whatever happens. We’ll make sure you’re okay.”

“Okay,” she said, small-voiced.

“No it’s not.” He scowled even more.

“I’ll be okay at least,” she pressed on, even though that wasn’t guaranteed. “Maybe the babies want to kill everyone.” She sighed. “White like your penthouse would have, or not?”

It took him a minute to remember he’d asked about the damned chimney. Christmas. They were still on that. “No way,” he laughed, even though it was a little forced. “Chimneys have to be red.” He directed her back to the other things Bentley had brought up. “Do you know anyone named Elliot?”

“Aunt Indigo’s naming her son Elliot.”

He felt himself go cold. It wasn’t just Talise who was supposed to die. He wondered when – if – Zero and Indigo had shared this same conversation.

“And what’s your secret loyalty thing?” he asked. If it could protect Indigo, regardless of what happened to Talise, it was worth doing. He just hated thinking about that.

She blushed and her skin grew warm as fire coursed through her. “Who told you?”

“Shea,” he said. He passed a spark to Talise and she grew it into a fireball that she tossed back to him. “I think Indigo might lose her baby,” he explained, once he’d caught the fireball. He tossed it back her way.

“It’s not ready yet,” she warned. “I just asked Sam if we could make a special loyalty-based elixir…so you’re loyal by non-romantic means…”

He assumed…hoped…she meant generic you and not him specifically, because the alternative sucked.

“You don’t want romantic loyalty anymore?” he teased.

She laughed. “Not with Corban or Ky.” They were two of her guards. One of them was dating Jace, if dating meant as rabidly in love as the worst teenagers in the corniest movies. They made him and Talise look tame, and that was saying something.

He laughed. “You should offer it to Indigo, and then stay away from her. You can’t both die if you’re in different places.”

Score one for fallacious logic.

“Okay,” Talise agreed, without sarcasm. “I’ll just quit learning Elesarian for now.”

Bentley and Shea had said this week. It was already Maelvish. They just had to get through the rest of the day, and Sendvish, Kevish, Rovish, Dorvish. Four and a half days. “A week off might be a good idea,” he agreed.

“Maybe I should go live in the dungeon,” she joked.

He loved that in the face of her family’s views on fate and Bentley’s luck magic, she still had a preference for choice. She wouldn’t bow down and agree to die, she’d try to find a way out right until the last minute.

He laughed and hugged her tight again. “Just don’t go far from me. They didn’t say anything bad about my future, which means no matter what I’ll be able to help you.”

That, or he was disposable to the kingdom, replaceable.

“I’ll never leave your side. I can be your parasite this week.”

He kissed her. “You can be my parasite forever,” he offered. It was disgustingly romantic, incredibly romantic, and probably would make a great song.

If they made it through the week, he’d make it a song.

If they didn’t…his song-writing days might be over.

Talise held his face in her hands. “Niels,” she said.

He met her eyes and waited for the wrecking ball of whatever serious thing she was about to say.

“If it’s good for the kingdom, if you trust that, and something happens…let me die.”

He stared at her.

He’d never trust Bentley over his own instincts. But he trusted her, and she trusted Bentley…

He hated this. He loathed it.

His tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth.

“I’ll try,” he promised.

“I’ll make some spells to protect my body from burning, maybe an alarm or something so if it happens you can help? If I have my body I’ll be okay.”

That was even better – planning, plotting, intent on survival.

“Okay,” he agreed. If it came down to it and he had to let her die… “And something to help with the pain?” For her, not for him. He hoped she understood that.

“Pain is part of the job. I’ll be okay.” She thought for a minute. “Maybe breaking the bond too? On my end…just for the week? I don’t want to melt or whatever.”

He knew she trusted him, but even still the bond was an easy way to kill her. One kiss to him, and she wouldn’t have a body to bring her back to. When a person had a bond, they didn’t just have to trust their bondmate, they had to trust the entire world not to violate it.

Niels’ scowl grew and grew.

“We can have tea,” he agreed, amused. If she could joke about this, so could he. “I’ll see who else I can hook up with for the week.”

“Speaking of…you didn’t say what’s up with Camilla,” she said.

That was a bit of a leap, as far as speaking ofs went. “Kidnapped by Ionia, with Tarragon, not in the Lower Dell, probably pregnant, low odds of survival,” he summarized.

“That’s exciting.” She lay back on the bench again and stared up at the ceiling. “So my biggest enemy is my not dead brother. Maybe my dad just vanished and isn’t dead either.”

“Evil King Drey?” Niels teased. “Spence saw him when he died, remember?”

“Right,” Talise said in an ominous voice. “Allegedly he was my dad. Spence doesn’t know the guy. All the old Alandrials are identical.” She grinned up at him. “He could have been hallucinating Ach.”

They both laughed for a minute before Niels added, “Or some other dead guy wants to waste his death being your dad and talking to pissy teenage boys?”

“I heard my dad was a god,” she laughed.

He leaned down and kissed her again, and then resumed playing with her hair like he’d done earlier. “Bentley also said Camilla wasn’t scared. So either she’s drugged or she’s not in danger yet.”

“Or she hasn’t noticed her kidnapping because she’s in paradise at the same time.”

That was a thought.

Camilla could chatter her way through an entire meal and only at the end realize she’d never eaten. She was always lost in a moment, a thought, an emotion.

“Even she would know she got kidnapped,” he concluded, despite that. “That’s a little hard to miss.”

“I don’t know…I kidnapped you like four years ago and you’re still oblivious.” She teased.

“Pretty sure you got in my car,” he reminded her. The paparazzi had been terrible, and she carried a sleeping Val in her arms. He’d offered her a ride home, to get her away from the media. He just hadn’t expected home to be a different realm, full of magic and dragons and immortals.

“Pretty sure you’ve been doing slave labor a lot,” she said. She braided her Talise strand of hair. “And you gave up your name.”

“And I’d do it again,” he said. He leaned and kissed her. “I only regret that I have but one name to give,” he joked.

She probably didn’t even get the reference.

There was a lot of US History one had to learn in order to gain citizenship and Niels, as in all aspects of his life, had gone above and beyond.

“I love you,” she told him. “We’ll get through this, and I hope this ornament isn’t just a memory.”

If they lost the babies…it would devastate Talise. Aadya had just come out of a recent pregnancy loss when Niels first met Talise, and he’d seen her struggle. As far as he knew, Aadya wasn’t anything as dramatic as Talise could get.

It made him wonder what her dad the dead king had been like. If he really was coming back, Niels would get to meet him, and he had a feeling he’d see a lot of Talise there.

“It’s already a memory.” He stood and offered his hand, because they had lives to live. He hugged her once she stood. “I’ll try to keep the babies safe too,” he promised. “Force of willpower.”

She hugged him back, tight and without any apparent interest in ever letting go. It worked for him just fine. He’d hold her forever if he had the choice.

“Let’s pretend,” she suggested, “we’re not worried about stuff, and go be slaves.”

By slaves, she meant serve people, which was what they did as rulers-in-training.

He nodded his head. “And then let’s go do something fun with the kids,” he added. Just in case they only had this week, he didn’t want it to be all work. He knew if she lost the babies she’d bury herself in work to survive the grief.

This week should be fun, to compensate.

“Maybe out of realm,” she said.

He agreed. That was probably safer. He squeezed her hand. Whatever the future held – fate or choice or a blend of the two – they’d face it together.

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