Episode 237: Removal of Self (Zero)

There were few who could step back and see the chaos of a moment as fleeting, and to step away from their emotions and desire to react. Zero admired that trait in Nell. Where others saw a second as infinitely important, his brother-in-law saw the stretch of time and made do with the pieces he held at that moment. It was one reason they got along.

Konrad, though more partial to the moment, was able to step away from his emotions to perform as well.

Spence, too, had learned the skill, though his son had too much focus on a moment and not enough on long term. He wanted Spence to hear him, and he had tried, but his bond with Spence had been tumultuous at best.

Despite parenting, he was Sam’s son in most ways. Most in the palace commended those who raised the children of others. Sam had aimed to do it himself with Rhyss, but Zero struggled at times. They were his children but seeing them echo someone else was trying.

It was about the long term though, and Spence would see that someday. Spaden would too, with his conquest of Delaney. Zero had grown up assuming his parents would have other children, but he hadn’t known about who they might be. Seeing Delaney there… he struggled to see the relation. It eased the Spaden romance, despite Spaden not being his genetic son.

All these things were just moments though.

Zero thought about his family, and where he might be without Indigo entering his life, as he scrubbed the bubbly water off of his arms and hands. Indigo would heal, but he felt the rhythm and routine of caring for his hygiene before an operation to be centering.

There was an attack coming, and while Zero wasn’t sure he agreed with the attack itself he wasn’t the judge in that matter. His portion of the upcoming incident was to ensure the future generation were protected. Aadya was in the other room, delivering his niece and nephew within a few hours. Talise was right behind her, delivering more notably premature infants. He had to trust the dragon magic to protect the babies, because he could see on her face how afraid she was. Control, in the end, was power.

He felt responsible for these three women: His wife, his daughter-in-law, and his sister-in-law in some ways. Elliot represented the future, and being trusted to protect his life was an honor for Zero, something most men never dream of doing. It would be done by machines in the end, but he was in control.

It was Nell’s knowledge of the technology that had made it possible. Zero suspected he would do anything for his sister, even in her new body. He also suspected no one would ever see Nell for who he was, an excellent King that had changed life notably. Even now, water washing down the drain, Nell had been involved. He had designed a system that had almost no waste. They had running, warm water in the palace in a kingdom that was relatively primitive. The river that ran through the rift supplied them, and clean water left the palace in the end. He wondered how much the queen even noticed, because at the end of the day Konrad and Nell had been in control for the two decades they had been there.

Things would change, now or soon.

He turned the water off and pulled gloves on. Another unnecessary step, but one he would never pass up. This was his wife, and he aimed to be careful with her no matter how strong she was. She had entrusted herself to him, entrusted their child to him, and he wouldn’t let himself fail her.

He turned to her, in her patience to allow him those moments to think. “Are you ready?” he asked.

She leaned up, and he leaned toward her and let his lips linger for a moment. Then, she fell back and stared at the ceiling in her resolve and determination.

“If it doesn’t work, it’s not your fault.”

He let one huff of air escape in amusement; of course it would be his fault. He had been here before, with Rhyss – Zach – between them.

“No pressure,” he agreed, for her sake. He would do his job, and he couldn’t change the outcome. Elliot was only a few weeks post conception and the odds of survival were low, despite the dragon magic.

“I’m going to try and sedate you,” he said. She didn’t need to see what happened. More than that, he was afraid to look at her as he handled their newest son. With Rhyss around, it felt too circular and symbolic.

“I’m also going to try and remove pain, but if it doesn’t work, I’m sorry.”

Aadya and Talise had birthed without pain medication. He had tried before, but there was nothing that their bodies didn’t burn through too fast. During labor, their bodies ran hotter, the fire responding to each wave of effort to deliver the babies.

He hoped, for Indigo’s sake, this would be a silent and quick procedure.

He kissed her again, then hooked the cords up in silence. They both needed the silence, to keep their minds focused. He had a recording device, if sedation worked, for her heartbeat. Elliot would develop knowing her in every way he could conceive.

She reached for his hand, encompassed by the glove, and he pulled the other off to run through her hair. He could wash his hands again, or he could do the procedure without the sensitivity to hygiene. In the end, he had needed a moment. Control of self, control of mind.

He trailed his fingers behind her ear and to her neck, then kissed her as her eyes closed.

It was time to work.

<- Episode 236 | Episode 238 ->