Episode 105: Baby Daddy (Talise)

Right.

She was there. She was at the door. She was at the Lavesque door to the Lavesque apartment where one Rhyss Hartmaan, AKA Zach Lavesque, lived at the moment.

Right.

She knocked on the door. It had to be done, because she had convinced herself over the past bit of time that she was a decent fairy-being-human-whatever she was and despite not following up after Rhyss went missing for a few weeks, she still thought he deserved to be part of his twins’ lives.

Indigo answered the door. “Talise? It’s late, is everything okay?”

It was too bad she was done with school or she could fabricate a question about Elesarian. She could tell the truth and just say Hey I had kids with two of your sons and I’m just making sure the second one knows he’s a dad.

“Yeah,” she said, her voice pitchy and lying. “The kids are asleep and I thought we could watch a movie.” Her skin prickled but she forced the rosey cheeks of embarrassment to stay soft pink. No red cheeks for her tonight. It was just a movie, apparently. Maybe Rhyss would come out and then she could accidently become engrossed in an art conversation with him. They could leave the room to look at his art and she could tell him.

Indigo peered out into the hall and looked both ways before repeating their agenda items. “A movie?”

“Yeah. You’re up… so….”

“Yeah, we’re up. We have a two-year-old who doesn’t sleep.” 

Talise moved past Indigo and toward the couch.

The door shut and she heard Indigo moving across the room, her voice dry and pitchy too. “Come on in, I’ll be right there.”

Indigo must have been talking to Zero about Silas because she was gone awhile. Maybe she still nursed Silas. Talise wondered to the kitchen and began making popcorn. This movie needed popcorn so the crunching could detract from the awkward silence.

“Talise?” Zero said, emerging from his bedroom in just dark blue flannel pajama bottoms that were so enticing.

She looked away. “Hey. Movie night!” She held the popcorn up, covering her eyes from his bare, toned, chest.

He moved around her and reached for a glass. 

She did not need this. 

“Is your tv broken?” he asked.

Why did hot people have to live near her. Hot tall people that reminded her of Rhyss now that knew they should. She couldn’t miss the incredibly similar features. 

“Nope,” she replied. She sat on the couch and focused on the black screen until someone turned it on.

Indigo sat down and jangled a monkey, with a mirror on a ring, in front of Silas. “What kind of movie did you want to watch?”

“I don’t know, a western?” she suggested.

A western? She had no idea what she was thinking.

“A western?” Indigo echoed. “Okay.”

She set up the only western they owned and Talise felt the couch indent as Zero sat on the part of the couch that had a long stretch of more couch so his entire tall body could fit. When Indigo sat back down, beside him, he wrapped his arm around her.

“How’s Niels?” Indigo asked.

“Who? Oh! He’s good,” she replied.

He was at home with the kids being the best dad ever while she went off and talked to Rhyss about how he was the most left out dad ever.

“Did you enjoy the wedding?”

Seeing Rhyss at the wedding was one of the most jaw dropping moments of her existence. Plus her mom was there with this guy – a human – and she didn’t know what to make of that except they made oogly eyes at each other all night and danced like they both had never been in love before and it was kind of weird. If her mom was going to end up with anyone curly haired human was not on the list.

It was grossly the same as her. Like they actually had things in common. She knew they did, but that was just weird.

She shrugged, “It was surprising.”

“In what way? Besides the suddenness of the marriage.”

Years ago, she had seen Rhyss for what she thought would be the last time. They had painted together – naked as usual. She was late, but she wasn’t sure yet. She didn’t say anything, except she mentioned futures. He wanted to marry her someday. 

Then, he was gone. His house was empty. She had checked daily for two weeks and tried tracking hin. Nothing. She wanted to marry him and raise their kids together, but instead… she wanted to find out where he was, what happened, and how he got away. He wasn’t the kind of person to run off and he didn’t know much magic while they were dating so she wasn’t sure how he would have managed to prevent someone from tracking him, yet she couldn’t get the spell to give her a hint. She suspected he was dead. His mom too – she was untraceable. 

“Just that way,” she lied. Rhyss was alive – he looked as healthy as ever.

“Do you need to talk about anything?” Zero asked this time.

“Yeah… is anyone home? You guys… Silas…”

Maybe they could bring Rhyss up and she could ask them if he was settling in and offer to talk to him. She also needed to know what they were calling him: Rhyss or Zach. She was almost positive he would be pissed if they called him Zach often. He knew who he was. Even in an identity crisis, he’d want his name. Unless he had changed. Water and fire danced under her skin, waiting to see who Rhyss was after over two years. 

Indigo’s eyebrows raised. “Spaden, Silas, Sawyer, Mallory.”

There were many things she knew about Indigo: she was intelligent, she liked words, she liked messing with people. There was no way she had left Rhyss out, unless he wasn’t there.

“How’s Spaden?” she asked.

“He’s fine,” Zero replied. He looked into the movie. Or maybe he was good at pretending too. 

“Silas looks good too,” she observed. “Sawyer?”

Maybe they were mad at Mallory. She was older than Sawyer but listed after when Indigo said names. Or maybe Sawyer was on her mind. She could drag this out all night if Rhyss wasn’t home. 

“He’s probably not even here,” Indigo shrugged. 

“That’s got to be frustrating.” Talise was almost certain one of hers – probably Jo – was off on some very urgent mission to procure something: milk, a book from the library, a toy, a game. Niels could handle it. If he couldn’t, he’d call. 

She hated leaving him alone. Instead of prolonging the conversation about Sawyer she moved along, “What about Mallory? Is she doing well?”

“Yes, she’s fine. Thinking about college plans years ahead of time.”

Talise wanted to go to college. 

She was supposed to be ascending in a week; by the time she would have time for college she doubted she would care anymore. Niels would miss out too. Even when he insisted he had an amazing life she felt like she was depriving him of something sometimes. She had dragged him into her fairy tale life. 

He may have been a bit eager about it, but she worried sometimes that he had jumped into the decision and would regret it someday. Her job wasn’t very safe, and they were ascending during a pregnancy which would be even more risky.

She knew these worries would feed into the trial, which was part of why she was here now – even though she wanted to cuddle up against Niels and talk about the weird human all night.

“What about the new kid? Rice or Wrist or whatever.”

“He’s fine,” Indigo said. She turned her head back to Talise. “Did you want to talk to him?”

“No, not really. Is he around?”

“I think so. He didn’t go back to Sylem, did he?” Indigo asked Zero.

Zero was staring at the screen. Either he loved Westerns – in which case they needed another option – or he didn’t care. Or he cared and was trying not to alarm her. He leaned forward and paused the movie. “He’s in his room.”

“Do you think he wants some popcorn? There’s plenty.”

Indigo sighed. “You don’t want to talk to him but you want to be in the same room with him, eating popcorn?”

“I was just trying to be polite,” Talise defended.

So what if it was a little bit of a lie. Regardless of who fathered her second set of twins, they were still the grandparents. Their lives would be the same.

“I’ll get him for you,” Indigo said. She stood and slipped her feet into slippers. “So far he seems to really love polite.”

Maybe they were just being too polite.

“No, don’t get up,” she said – too late, but whatever. “I’m sure your feet are sore. Mine always are. I can get him.”

She picked up the popcorn bowl and headed down the hall as fast as she could – so no one could think and stop her before she was gone. She made it to the room she suspected he was occupying in a moment and then slipped in through the door without knocking. 

“Hi,” she said. 

He looked the same: short dark hair and a grey blue shirt that was covered in little spots of paint. Chocolatey brown hair was starting to cover his face, grown from the day. She missed that – the way his scruff felt against her cheeks. Niels had it too, but it seemed like Rhyss’ came in faster. Thicker.

He stood. “Ali, Hi.” 

She cringed. Ali. Her code name. 

“I thought you were in a cult. What are you doing here?” he asked.

She moved toward the bed and sat on the edge. The room used to be Spence’s, and she had slept in it before. She tried not to think of that. This was about Rhyss and about making sure he was okay – even more than it was about their kids.

“When I said I was the heir to somewhere, I meant here,” she explained. 

Years ago, she had told him she was an heir and he had asked about cults. She was going to tell him the truth, but the way he acted about it made her think it wasn’t something he would want. She went with the cult thing, and he definitely didn’t want to lead a cult. Leading a cult wasn’t any more dangerous than leading a kingdom, so she didn’t see the harm in it. 

Maybe she was just hurt, the way his tone twisted into something accusing instead of curious.

“Okay,” he replied.

He stretched his palms against his pants and some more paint spread down his legs.

“I’m sorry. Where were you?”

“You came back?” he asked, confused, brows turned in, hunched. She wanted to hug him.

“I thought you were mad,” he explained. “My mom burned her hands.”

All of the air escaped her as she said, “You were gone. I Was pre…””

She thrust the bowl into the space between them and a dozen corn kernels flew off the edge onto the floor. “Popcorn?”of

Her cheeks were almost on fire. 

His hand dug into the bowl. “So they are mine?”

Her cheeks were definitely on fire, and her eyes were swelling like pools during the rainy months. “Yes.” 

She pushed her hair behind her ear. She could do this. He deserved to know.

He watched her melt into guilt-goo. She hoped he noticed and knew that was what was happening. His hand… she’d missed his touch.

“I’m sorry,” he said. He took the bowl from her hands and set it on the desk, then wrapped his arms around her. “Are you okay? I didn’t know.”

“Yes. I’m okay, they’re okay. I tried to find you.”

She tried to speak quickly, because being against him and breathing meant smelling everything that made him someone she missed: paint, popcorn a little, something musky like a cedar tree.

“You got married?” he asked.

She pulled away from the warm nestle of his arms and looked up at him. “Yes. To Niels. And you have a girlfriend?”

She could be his best friend. His advocate or defense against whatever Indigo and Zero had done wrong. She would…

“Niels Poulsen? So that was him.”

Talise blushed. 

“Why did you say it was a cult when it was this place?” he asked.

“Yes, Niels Poulsen,” she replied. Rhyss had been into Niels’ band, but she hadn’t recognized Niels when she had met him. He was just a guy going to see a play with his daughter and son.

She took the popcorn off the desk and sat on the bed with it on her lap. “So, I used to be married to Spence. And I know the realm thing can be a big deal so I made it relatable. Being queen someday is even bigger than a cult. I didn’t want to scare you away, but then you were gone. Anyway.”

“Well, okay, but cults kill people and you guys don’t seem that into human sacrifice.” He sighed, and sat on a chair with wheels in front of her. “It doesn’t matter. You’re okay?”

It mattered. It mattered so much, because a misunderstanding – a burn – ago they were talking marriage. She was pregnant – even though she didn’t know it yet – and she loved him. 

She still loved him. It was different now, with time and space and the bond with Niels and everything, but it was there.

“I’m really sorry, Rhyss.” She shoved the popcorn aside and hugged him again. It was more like she sat on his lap and wrapped herself around him, but it had to do.

“Who do they think is their dad? Niels?”

She cringed. “They call three people dad…”

“Why?”

“Spence is the dad to my older kids, and Ach is dating Spence… plus Niels.”

“Right, okay. So they think they have three dads or which one do they think is actually their dad, or do they know about me?”

She backed off his lap and stood beside him for a minute. “Spence. I mean… they’re two, so it’s not like it came up.”

“Spence. Does he know?”

“Oh yeah,” she assumed. “I was only with you around then and he’s smart.”

“He didn’t tell me. He must not want me to know.”

“He doesn’t know it’s you, just that it’s not him.” she assumed again. How would he know? 

“Okay” Rhyss asked, smoothing his pants again. This time no paint smeared. It was dry.

“I don’t know. I mean…I want you to have a preference.”

She wanted to go back and fix everything, except she didn’t want to lose Niels either.

“Okay. Can I have a night? Or a couple?” he asked. He ran his hand through his hair then let both arms fall toward his sides. She missed the hands stuff, when he was anxious or sorting or thinking. 

“My girlfriend is missing, and she’s pregnant, and the whole Lavesque thing.”

“Yeah,” she replied. Then, with a little gleam in her eye, and fire, she tried to joke, “So I guess I’m not sleeping over?”

He laughed.

She could breathe again. They could do this – be friends. 

“Niels Poulsen. Wow.”

It was wow. Niels had chosen her, of any girl in the whole fandom, he had chosen her. He chose her before the princess thing was even a thing. He just wanted her. 

She just wanted him, too.

“He knows. So. He’s really nice.”

It would be really cool if they were friends, and they got along, and everything worked out. She could try and meet his girlfriend too, and help her with the pregnant thing if she wanted, and by that she meant steal Ach’s new spa. 

“Can I meet him sometime?” Rhyss asked. He shook his head. “That would probably be weird.”

Everything about this was weird. He was supposed to be her husband, but everything got all messed up. She wasn’t upset, overall, but it was weird.

“Only if I can meet your girlfriend once she’s here,” Talise said. “Yeah, of course you can.”

“Okay, but Em only signs autographs on Saturdays.”

She laughed, a genuine smile. 

Right. This could work. 

“So my name is Talise.”

“Ha,” he belted out, like he wanted to laugh but there was an undercurrent of feeling there. “I’m Zach. Apparently.”

She kind of didn’t care if he always called her Ali. They could always be Ali and Rhyss, a couple lost to time with two little adorable kids to show for it.

“I like Rhyss better,” she told him. And she did. Zach made him so Lavesque. He wasn’t a Zach. 

She missed his lip ring. They had gotten it together: his lip and her … 

“So their names are Ella and Jax. Spence named the girl.”

“Ella and Jax.” He smiled, which led to a laugh. “Those are good names.”

“You like them?”

“Yeah, a lot. Maybe I could meet them sometime.”

Oh no. She was pushing him. He wanted a day.

But that smile.

“Anytime you want.”

She hugged him again. She missed his hugs, plus good friends hugged.  “I’m sorry about your girlfriend. We’ll help you find her.”

“Yeah, I know, my dad’s already working on it. They found her, but they can’t get to her so it’s kind of just waiting.” He shrugged and said she was alive, like he didn’t care as much as he knew he did. 

Also, my dad was huge. 

She hugged him tighter. “We’ll get her.”

His arms enveloped her more, like a bear that was never going to let her go, and they just stayed like that, together.

“I missed you,” he whispered into her hair.

“I missed you, too. You don’t smell as acryllicy or you-ish, but it’s still there.”

She hated how much he was her everything a few years ago, because she could feel it still. It didn’t erase her feelings for Niels, or even encroach on them. They were just distinct: Rhyss, her Rhyss.

“I moved to a new house and it’s very clean,” he pointed out.

That’s too bad,” she joked. She missed the flickering lights and the way a marble would roll across his bedroom floor toward the doorway. She missed the way the microwave beep carried through the walls up behind his desk. Living in a world where everything was new and well kept and polished, she missed the dust and the layers of life. She missed the stains she knew the history of half of. 

She wondered if he missed his house too. 

“What else have you been up to?” she asked.

“Well my mom was in the hospital for a while and then I started college and then I quit college. I worked in a donut shop for a while. What about you?”

If she could have been there while his mom was healing….

She shrugged. “Princess stuff, kids, and then I met Niels. I’m on one of his albums if you’ve heard it. We work in soup kitchens together – he started them.”

He held her at a distant, eyes wide, “You’re the girl in Dear Lyra?” 

“I’m not Lyra…” her skin flushed. “Yes.”

He ran his hand across her cheek, his wide thumb lingered along her jaw. “I’m really glad you’re happy.”

That probably, maybe she was crazy, meant something like this sucks.

“I’m really glad you’re happy,” she started, with the same sentiment. “Aside from her being missing and the chaos… I’m really glad you’re alive?” she laughed. “Sorry…”

So much for that.

“It’s fine. Do they know?” he nodded toward the doorway. 

“They didn’t… but they might now.”

“Well it’s not like you knew we were brothers. No one knew.”

“No. And I don’t regret them at all,” she assured him. “They’re really amazing.”

“Yeah?” he moved toward the bed again and sat, popcorn in hand. “What are they like?”

“Ella is really literal and particular about stuff. Jax is quiet and he kind of just ends-up cuddling often. They’re best friends.”

“They’re nice? What do they like to do?”

“They’re two. So. They’re nice enough.”

They were better behaved than Landyn and Ruskyn, at least, but not by much. Just less wild and energetic. 

“They like games: puzzles, digging for treasure if it isn’t dirty, building.”

He laughed, loudest when she said the dirty part. Poor Ella. She was just like her Uncle/Dad Ach. 

Sometimes it was weird raising kids with Ach, especially when he refused to talk to her most of the time. She didn’t get it, at all. Except that he was mad at her for hurting Spence. It sucked. He was supposed to be her best friend and ever since she had gotten pregnant with Fort and Emma they hadn’t really been twins; she’d felt a bit alone.

“Okay. There’s a two-year-old here. Silas. My brother. He’s kind of intense.”

Silas was a pretty good interpretation of Ella; they were a lot a like at the core of their two-year-old-beings. Sometimes Talise thought little kids came in flavors: Wild, tame, too old for their bodies…

“Ella makes him look relaxed,” she said, to make sure he got that her uptightness was a big thing. If her food was cut wrong, if she had her pajamas misaligned with her belly button, if her blanket wasn’t tucked into the edge of the bed just enough, if your blanket wasn’t tucked into the bed just enough, so she could come sleep with you without panic in the middle of the night…

“Really?” he asked.

She knew he would have to meet them, and he would be in their lives, and her life would just be more complicated but better for it. She would get to keep Rhyss.

It was crap like this that helped her understand her mom.  

“Are you free at all tomorrow?” he asked.

“Yeah.” For him, aside from base obligations, she would be free whenever. Niels could come. She could bring donuts to tease him about his job. Maybe Niels could sign a donut with icing and they could see how long it took Rhyss to decide if he should eat it. “When do you want to see them?”

“Well I’m basically free all day because I lost my job and I lost my mom and I’m just kind of … free.”

“You lost your mom?”

Her gut sank. She was a terrible person. She should have gone to his house every day forever.

“Well not really lost lost,” he clairfied. “But the guy I thought was my dad is here and she… anyway, I’m free.”

“Sam?” 

She shouldn’t have freed him. She knew she should have. She was torn on how to feel, and what she could do for Rhyss. She just wanted to make everything good for him, so he could be happy. 

He sucked at asking for helping. She would have to focus on the Emily aspects of it all. If he could find her, he would be in a better place. Things would get better with the family shock too, she suspected.

“Yeah, him.” 

Everything she had wanted with Rhyss, her life, had taken such a different turn. She tried to clear her mind of years forgotten. 

“Here, let me walk you out.”

Oh. She was leaving. She wasn’t ready to leave. 

“Thank you,” she said. She slipped her hand into his as they headed for the door. Then she let it go, even though his fingers wound with hers.

He laughed, a light little this is why I said you should go laugh. “Tell Niels his biggest fangirl is coming to lunch.”

“We can be best friends right?” she asked, which may have been to much to ask at the moment but she had to do it.

“Niels and I? Yeah.”

She laughed. “You’re going to like him; he’s impossible to hate.”

“Probably,” Rhyss muttered.

He wasn’t going to like him because of who he was married to, that much was certain. But she could see them talking someday and getting along. 

She needed Emily. Everything would settle once Emily was there. She hoped.

“If you ever need anything: help adjusting, tours… let me know. I’m here.”

It was the best she could offer him, when she wanted to give him more. She didn’t want to lose Neils in the process though. It was such a fine line. 

“Thanks. Same for you. Especially if you need someone to watch them.”

Talise hugged him, despite Indigo saying something. She hadn’t heard the actual words and she didn’t care. His smell was around her and a part of her was home, a part of her she thought she wouldn’t get to have anymore.

“Lunch?” she clarified as she peeled herself away.

“Yeah.”

She looked toward her confused and gracious hosts, “Thanks for the movie! Have a good night.”

“You too,” Indigo said. “Stop by to ignore us any time.”

She used her hand to cover her face, in her signature ‘bangs in the way’ move. It was better than just blaring pink cheeks for the world to see. “Sorry.”

She looked back at Rhyss one more time: he was here, real, alive.

In some ways, it was worse than him being gone.

She wove through passages to get home, instead of taking the hallway directly there. She needed a few more minutes to be alone and to process everything. Niels was her forever, she knew that, but Rhyss was unfinished and it ached, wanting and wishing for more time.

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